Spot, Slather, and Shrimp

* It is not necessary to use the garage door opener remote when backing up out of your spot at the grocery store... or at the mall, or at church, or when leaving a friend's driveway.

* The quickest way to find a paper cut on your hand is by slathering it in hand sanitizer.

* If you've never deveined shrimp, you may want to look up the proper procedure before spending 30 minutes cutting out the wrong vein on a bowl full of shrimp.

A Good Friend

* A good friend is one who follows you around on your errands even when she doesn't have to =) I had lunch with a friend at the mall yesterday. Since I was already there, I figured it would be the perfect time to run some errands. I needed to return a pair of jeans, look for pants and a shirt for my son, and get a new phone charger. Nothing at all exciting. During lunch I mentioned the errands I was planning on running and told my friend she certainly didn't need to join me. After we finished lunch she seemed game to come along on my errands, she even helped me look through piles of jeans for my son's size (if you know where I can find a 29x34 let me know!).  I was touched that she'd run these boring errands with me. I kept telling her she really didn't need to follow along, but she kept me company anyway. It wasn't until after the second or third store I remembered... I'd driven her to the mall.

Padc = Purse

* It hit me what "receipt padc" means! (If confused, check out entry just before this one.) I had lunch with some friends a couple weeks back and as we were leaving the waiter hurried over asking if I could sign the receipt. I was a little confused as I remembered signing the receipt. Turns out, after filling it out I'd put it in my purse instead of back in the little black padded folder thing. Oops!

Shopping, Scrolling, and Sharing

* When arriving home from shopping, it's recommended to bring the groceries inside with you.

*The scrolling bar on the side of your computer screen does not control the volume.

* You should probably write legibly when jotting down notes about tips you want to share. I will forever be scratching my head over "receipt padc" and "crossing street (black fwhunfe)".

Nose, Nowhere, None

* If you're even the slightest bit congested, do not laugh through your nose.

* The elevator cannot read your mind; you will go nowhere very slowly if you don't tell it where you wish to go.

* If you're planning on having leftovers for dinner you should probably make sure there are some.

Who Needs a Clean House?

* You’d think vacuuming the basement would be an easy task. Well, even I can screw that one up! I went upstairs and grabbed the vacuum cleaner, but decided I should empty its canister first. As I was walking into the kitchen I saw my phone laying on the counter… the phone I’d forgotten to charge the night before. So I plugged in my phone and ran down the stairs to vacuum. Of course, as soon as I got down there I realized I’d left the vacuum upstairs. So up the stairs I go, grab the vacuum, and head back down the stairs…. when I remembered the canister still needed to be emptied. There isn’t an appropriate trash can for emptying the canister in the basement, so back up the stairs it is. Can I count this as my morning workout?

Just Trying to Help

* I offered to take dinner to a friend on a strict milk-free, gluten-free diet. I figured baked chicken would be a safe meal to take in along with gravy, vegetables, and salad. I was pretty proud of myself for knowing how to make chicken gravy from scratch without using milk and thought that would go perfectly. However, it wasn’t until I finished making the gravy I realized that, although it did not contain milk, it did contain flour. Why was I thinking only wheat flour had gluten?! I assumed I was safe with the vegetables, however, I was wrong on that front as well. The precooked and seasoned vegetables I was cooking turned out to be coated in a yummy smelling cream sauce… the main ingredient being milk. Ack! Even with all my errors I somehow managed to deliver a milk-free, gluten-free dinner more or less on time. Of course, an hour later I was told by a mutual friend that the meal was also supposed to be organic. Some days I just can’t win!

Bryan's Tip

If you decide to feed the cat in the dark, at least make sure you're putting it in his food bowl and not his water bowl.

Pay Attention

* Pay attention to what account you order your ebooks from or they’ll appear on your husband’s kindle instead of your own.

* Remembering to put dinner in the crock pot will do you no good if you forget to plug it in.

Cats and Computers

* There are many reasons why you should have your child clean up their snack while away on vacation. “So the cat won’t get into it,” is not one of them if you left him at home.

 * If you ban a child from electronics, you may want to hide all spare parts as well. Otherwise you may find him playing Minecraft on a briefcase computer he built using components laying around the house.

Yup.

* You can stop waving back at the car in front of you. It’s not a kid saying hello, it’s a dog wagging its tail.

* It’s best to take your Nyquil before brushing your teeth.

* After grating cheese, the cheese goes back into the fridge, not the grater.

Seriously?!

* I decided to buy a new car when Hubby was out of town. It was a stressful afternoon, but I succeeded. When I got home I needed to sit down for a while and let all the anxiety fall away. But after a couple minutes I noticed the clock and realized my daughter had an ice skating lesson in 10 minutes… and the rink was 15 minutes away. Ack! She changed and grabbed her gear and out to the car we went… to find it locked. My kids had run to check out the car while I was de-stressing and had accidentally locked the doors. Of course, both sets of keys were safely locked inside. Urgh. At least since Hubby was out of town his car was available. I grabbed his keys and off we went.

     As we were finally on our way I realized my daughter was going to be 15 minutes late to her 30 minute lesson. Ouch. I called her instructor who, thankfully, understood and rescheduled for later in the week. So instead of driving to ice skating lessons we drove to the dealership. They got a great laugh at my expense. I doubt they’d had anybody lock themselves out of their car within 30 minutes of purchasing it. Thankfully they were able to give me a dummy key to unlock the doors. Whew!

     The first thing I did when we got home was unlock the car and take the keys out. Then it was time for a much needed break as my stomach was in all sorts of anxious knots. I laid on the couch and called my sister to relay the afternoon’s stresses. I was halfway through the story when I realized my daughter had another ice skating lesson we were about to be late for! Not kidding! (She was getting ready for an ice skating show, so she had one private lesson for her solo and one lesson for the group number - both on the same night and at different rinks.) I barely got her to the ice in time. I didn’t care who was watching, I laid on the bench right in the middle of everything, tried to relax, and swore Hubby would be in charge of future car purchases.